i don't know why, since the last time i wrote here my mood has become somber. i get extreme pleasure in working on ideas, and thats how the mood was till 2 days back

then all of a sudden i start wondering about my life and my career and questions like where i am and where i am going start to make me seem out of place and out of order. yeah i know things are not that bad, but dont know something is not right.

i get a feeling that i have been in place for too long, a change would do wonders but then i look at what i have done and i feel i need to learn more and make myself more stronger in fundamentals. i start wondering what i was doing in my initial years of my career. i took the condition of sticking to what i like too early, should have tried more and experimented more, should have changed jobs. Now i am stuck with this shit hole. I know its not good to think like this as any thing and everything starts to feel miserable after that. But if i look around and see people growing (not in my terms of growth) but in terms of organization career and renumerations they get, it pains somewhere deep down. its not jealousy or envy towards them, they are growing and its good for them, but it leaves a feeling of being left out and not being good enough.

i gave a thought about what i want to do, and things seem to be planned out. I just have to be a little bit more patient and keep working and enjoying. As said focus on keeping the wanting and having to be together and one would be happy, but the struggle of being left out hurts.

Emotions take over rationale, feelings take over logic, and sadness takes over happiness.

And Life goes on...